Our error
Strictly speaking, anger is also a mistake, especially venting one's anger to others.However, everyone will regard mistakes as right and good as evil. Even saints cannot avoid such mistakes, let alone ordinary people? But this cannot be an excuse for our willless anger.
Making mistakes without malicious intentions is certainly not a sin, but there are some truths that should be paid attention to.For example, humility is that many people do not distinguish between good and evil, and do not consider the cause and effect of things. As for correcting their own mistakes, there is no need to mention it.However, sages will not do this.Even saints and wise men are so humble. Can we be complacent?
A middle-aged man suddenly withdrew from the mall just when his career was at its peak. He said he was tired of the mall.Later, he made a special trip to a temple to ask for becoming a monk. He said to his master: Zen Master! I have seen through the world now. Please take me in with you as a monk and let me be your disciple!
The Zen master said: You have a family and have too much social habits. You can’t become a monk yet. Let’s talk about it slowly!
The middle-aged man said again: Zen Master! I can let go of everything now. My wife, children, and family are not a problem. Please give me a slaughter immediately!
The Zen master said: Let’s talk about it slowly!
The middle-aged man had no choice. One day, he got up early one morning and went to the temple to worship Buddha.As soon as the Zen master saw him, he said: Why did you come to worship Buddha so early?
The middle-aged man said: In order to eliminate the fire in my heart, I came to see you early in the morning.
The Zen master said: You get up so early, aren’t you afraid that your wife will have an affair with someone else on her back?
This middle-aged man was very angry after hearing this. He finally couldn't help but say: Your speech hurts so much!
The Zen master said at this time: Look, I just test you a little and you get angry. How could you relieve your inner anger? How could you let go of everything and become a monk?
People will be somewhat slow to understand their own mistakes. They thought they had successfully surpassed a certain line of cultivation, but they only lost in a small test by others.
If you do something wrong, you should be condemned and cover up your mistakes.Only mistakes can be added.When you vent your anger to others rudely, you should be condemned by others, which is natural.At this time, you should never excuse yourself for your mistakes.You should take other people's condemnation seriously and accept other people's criticism.
Of course, human instinct is to defend one's own mistakes, but people who can admit their mistakes in time will show a different temperament from others.If people can treat others with a forgiveness, the faults and mistakes of others will naturally appear small and will no longer be unforgivable. The other party’s gratitude and appreciation for themselves will increase accordingly. Supported by each other with a tolerant and appreciation mentality, this friendship will naturally be unbreakable.
Maybe you would say that anger is just an emotion. Do people have no right to express this emotion? People do have the right to express their emotions. However, the key problem is that others also have the right to dislike your anger, not to mention that you are venting your anger rudely.
Correspondingly, reflect on yourself with a mentality of blaming others and examining what you do, your own mistakes will be everywhere. In this way, your ambition to repent immediately. Taking this as a warning, your mistakes will naturally be reduced.
Once upon a time, an official visited a master. He saw his master sitting upright beside the magpie's nest, so he said: It's too dangerous for Master to live in a tree! Master replied: Sir! Your situation is very dangerous!
The official said disapprovingly: What are the dangers of being a good official now?
Master said: How can we say it is not dangerous when the torch intersects and is indifferent to one's nature? It means that the officialdom is in a state of ups and downs, and the danger is right in front of us.This person seemed to have some understanding, and then changed the topic and asked: What is the significance of Buddhism?
The master replied: Don’t do evil, do all good! After hearing this, the official thought that the Zen master would teach his profound truths. It turned out to be so ordinary words. He said disappointedly: This is a truth that a three-year-old child also knows!
The master said: What three-year-old children know, an 80-year-old may not be able to do.
Do not do evil and do good. This sentence is easy to say, but it is not actually a simple thing. It emphasizes the simultaneity of doing good and not doing evil. Moreover, although you know what you should do, you may not be able to control your own behavior.If you do good and do evil at the same time, it is like throwing things while sweeping alone. I believe you will not see such a stupid housewife in life.
I know an old man who has been reflecting since he was twenty years old and spent a lot of effort. He found that he had shortcomings every day to improve, but when he reached fifty, he still discovered his shortcomings and mistakes when he was forty-nine.It can be seen that it is difficult to correct a person’s mistakes.However, not doing evil, not making mistakes, and constantly doing good are prerequisites for changing your destiny. Therefore, those who hope that their lives will be better should work hard.
Some people also believe that there is no fault to correct it. Most people who think this way have never thought about what mistakes mean.From this, it is very important to distinguish between good and evil.
People all know that there is a link when farming called weeding.New seedlings have grown and weeds have grown. We want crops, not weeds, so we need to remove weeds.The evil in people's hearts is like weeds in farmlands, and it must not be ignored. Farmers who do not weed carefully will find that they have almost no harvest when they are harvested.People who do not seriously discover and correct their mistakes are just like farmers. They will also find that when their lives end, they have almost no qualities that are worthy of praise.
Many teachers and teachers will teach others to examine their thoughts, behaviors and language. They not only teach others to do this, but they also insist on doing this.For example, I know a teacher who reflects on three times a day, and another old man lights three incense sticks every night to tell what he has done on this day. He will never dare to do anything he dares to report to the Bodhisattva.This approach seems a bit troublesome, but the benefits of persistence are self-evident.
Only by constantly reflecting on one's heart can one stop evil deeds in a timely manner and discover good deeds.If you try to maintain what is good, you can be called icing on the cake; if you resolutely don’t do what is evil and wrong, you can turn misfortune into blessing.
We often say that there are many dreams at night, so it is the same for correcting your own mistakes. The more timely the correction, the better.Even if you can't change it for a while, you have to set a clear deadline for yourself, which is to motivate yourself.Otherwise, dragging and dragging will slowly get rid of people's will, and it will become difficult to correct mistakes.
Another time issue is that it is never too late to correct your mistakes, so even if you have made very terrible mistakes or done something extremely sinful, you should not give up on correcting your mistakes.As long as we still have a breath, we still have the opportunity to correct ourselves.
Repentance is like digging out all the poisonous things in your heart and putting them in the sun. Can your evils survive under the sun? The so-called putting in the sun means that you must be brave to be public when repent, which will be more effective.Although private confession is also repentance, since you are facing yourself, you will always relax. Perhaps before you discover it, some evil roots are left behind. Then, no matter you cry and tremble, call the name of the god, or call your ancestors, you will not receive the best effect of repentance. The roots of sin are drilling down in your heart, growing tighter and tighter until you can't pull it out with all your strength.This is not a scare, but a call for an open confession.
You do not need to open a special venue or find a square to serve as a venue for your own repentance. Only public figures need such a repentance venue. The public confession of ordinary people mainly refers to confessing to their relatives and friends around them.There is a young man who is addicted to enjoyment with a group of friends for a long time.Later he regretted it and felt very sorry for his parents, so he wrote a letter to his father. His father said nothing and forgave him speechlessly, which made him even more self-blame and wanted to reform himself.The father's approach was very correct. He did not blindly criticize his children, which showed his trust in the children because he knew that the child had the intention to repent. As the person closest to the child, he should actively respond, and his unreproached reaction is the best reaction, which can help his child further repent what he did.
If you want to stop doing evil things, you must learn to repent, because repentance is an inevitable process.How bad are evil deeds? You should know this. When you develop a hatred of evil deeds, you will develop the desire to correct them.
When logging trees, there can be different orders, such as cutting down a tree first, then cutting down the branches and leaves of the tree; or cutting down the branches and leaves of the tree first, and then cutting down the entire tree.How to cut a tree depends on the actual situation.The same is true for correcting your own mistakes. You can start with everything first, or you can start with your own attitude.
How can we get rid of bad habits? First of all, we must understand the truth.For example, if a person wants to change his habit of killing, he should first ask himself: Why is it not good to kill? How can he avoid killing? How precious is life? Why do I kill life? If I figure it out, I will not kill again, so as not to slaughter sheep today, slaughter dogs tomorrow, and slaughter chickens the day after tomorrow, and slaughter chickens day after day, and become numb in the random killing day.
When you are not obsessed with arguing, your heart will gradually become clear, and if you continue to argue, things will only become more serious.The confrontation of words will only escalate people's anger again, which you originally wanted to avoid.If you offend others, you should feel guilty. In addition, you need to use practical actions to express your regret. At this time, you should no longer consider whether you will lose face, otherwise you will be deceiving yourself.
How do negligence occur? Most people’s faults are caused by bad habits.Everyone has bad habits, and if they are not corrected, they will become deeply rooted over time.When others realize their own mistakes, we should be tolerant of them. Tolerance is a kind of cultivation and reflects the highest level of dealing with others.In the process of interpersonal communication, conflicts are inevitable due to different opinions or hostile positions, and sometimes even details can lead to very good friends misunderstanding the other party.If you know how to tolerate others by cultivating and forgiving others’ mistakes, and even making mistakes deliberately in a dilemma, then the other party will naturally be able to experience care and give up alertness and hostility. This is exactly what the ancients said about tolerantness.
A bad habit often brings another bad habit, and bad habits are increasing day by day, and it is difficult to recover.For example, a person will make excuses for his laziness and attribute the external reason for not completing a certain job. Over time, he will develop a character of procrastination in doing things, or even just saying and not doing things.Influenced by this personality, he will not go well in any aspect of his life, and his future is worrying.
A person should not only face up to his bad habits, but also constantly reflect on him. This is very important for changing bad habits.Reflection actually requires people to return to their hearts and think carefully about their behavior and words of the day, so as to find out what they have done right and what they have done wrong.
In order to check one's behavior, some people have thought of a solution: every time they do a good thing, they put a red bean in the jar, and every time they do a bad thing or have a bad idea, they put a black bean in the jar to reflect on themselves.As the red beans in the tank became more and more than black beans, the effect of his reflection was achieved.
In modern times, psychologists often use similar reflection methods to guide and improve patients' behavior.There was once a famous experiment, with twenty-three high school students who had bad habits such as gluttony, nail biting, rude speech, and love to eat snacks.
First, the doctor tailored a set of behavioral goals for these twenty-three experimental subjects, such as specifying how much to eat in a week, writing their behavior changes on notes every day, allowing them to intuitively see what they eat the most snacks during the week, when they are most greedy, why and what snacks they like to eat the most, etc., which are not usually aware of.
Then let them meet regularly to summarize their experiences and exchange opinions.Experimental results prove that this method is very effective, so it has been vigorously promoted and widely used in the field of psychotherapy and in the correction of adverse behaviors.The success of this experiment is the successful application of the introspection method.
Being good at awareness and constant reflection can prevent bad habits from being treated without treatment.There is a man who likes to beat his feet, especially when talking to others, but he doesn't think so, and others have never told him.So this bad habit has not been changed.
Once, a colleague chatted with this man. When he saw his feet moving, he joked to him: Your feet can still beat the rhythm of your conversation, which is very rhythmic.The man smiled awkwardly and said nothing.
Since then, everyone has found that the man has beaten his feet less and less. Because a joke from his colleague made him realize his bad habits and he consciously corrected them later.Once people's bad habits are detected, the chances of appearing the next day will be significantly reduced. If they are consciously corrected, they can be changed in one week.
There was a girl who was timid and introverted. Once, she saw reports of continuous rape and murder in the newspaper, so she was in panic all day long. She always felt that someone was following her or hiding outside the window of their dormitory. She often had to get up to check the doors and windows several times a night.Her unconscious behavior caused by suspicion made her roommate unable to stand it. Finally, she couldn't help reminding her that the doors and windows had been checked many times tonight, and there would be no problems. If you are not at ease, please accompany her to check it thoroughly.After her roommate said this girl and found nothing after a thorough examination, she finally felt relieved.From then on, she never checked the doors and windows for no reason.
Therefore, being aware of and changing one's bad habits is also beneficial to physical and mental health on the other hand.
In addition, the most important thing is to list the harms of bad habits clearly and fully understand them.The more you understand, the easier it is to change.There are many ways and methods we can use regarding the habit of smoking. There is an open classroom in the United States for students to visit. This classroom has an interesting rule. Students are welcome to smoke in the classroom, but there are very few students who dare to smoke in this classroom.The reason is that the instruments and equipment in the classroom allow students to clearly see the reactions and harms of various organs in their bodies to smoke when they smoke.
With the help of precision instruments and speaking with facts, this is the most direct, effective and impressive for people to correctly understand the harm of smoking.
The effective way to eradicate a bad habit is to develop a disgust towards it. Only by recognizing its many disadvantages will you hate it deeply. Therefore, it is particularly important to fully understand the harm of bad habits.One person once asked a doctor for advice on personal health issues.The doctor suggested that he quit smoking and drinking, and then said: This consultation fee is three yuan.This person replied: I don't pay because I don't accept your advice.
Based on past experience, you can find that most people don’t listen to other people’s advice like the one above, no matter how good the advice is.If someone is willing to follow your advice, this advice will work, but most people don't like to accept opinions that will cause them trouble in the future.Therefore, giving advice is not only in vain and effort, but also may be thankless.
Many people are embarrassed to speak up when they make mistakes or have bad habits, but keeping them in their hearts will only make them take root and sprout and grow stronger, which is very unfavorable to changing bad habits.If you put aside the world and muster up the courage to say it, you will feel enlightened and you will not easily make the same mistake again in the future.
We must also repent and reflect on ourselves from time to time.In the eyes of some people, this kind of behavior seems to be foolish, but our personality can become more perfect through daily confession and self-reflection.
The effect of confessing to different people varies.In general, the more people you listen to your confession, the closer you are and respected by you, the better the effect will be.Because you have already said it, and so many people you care about look at you and supervise you, it will be difficult for you to repeat the same mistakes and make the previous mistakes again.
Let’s imagine that if you are a smoker, you have expressed your opinion to your parents, friends, teachers and classmates in order to achieve the goal of quitting smoking for three months.These people live with you almost every day, and always supervise you. If one day you get addicted to smoking and they find that you have smoked again, you will become a dishonest person in their eyes, and the consequences will be quite serious.I believe that when everyone thinks of this, they will naturally throw the unlit smoke into the trash can and will not take a look.
The advantage of adopting a gradual improvement method is that it will be natural and natural, and will not make people feel stressed or self-harmed.But it also has its disadvantages, which are that it takes a long time and slow effect. For those who are eager to achieve their goals, it is easy to give up halfway because there is no obvious result for a long time.Therefore, those who want to use this method to change bad habits must persevere and persevere to the end.
If you think it is too difficult to change your habits, you might as well become a good habit and replace bad habits with a good habit.
To change bad habits, you must choose a good time, change it when you say it, and to cultivate good habits, you must also do it when you say it.
For some people who want to develop good habits, choosing the right time is easy to achieve twice the result with half the effort.For example, if you want to develop the habit of swimming in winter, it is not possible to start from winter. First, it will be unacceptable to sudden changes in the environment and will easily give up. Second, it will cause harm to the body.You should start swimming in summer. If you persist, your winter swimming goal will be easily achieved.
Some good habits are cultivated without choosing the opportunity to cultivate, but they need to be done as soon as they say.For example: If you want to learn English, customize your study plan and start learning immediately; if you want to develop the habit of writing a diary, start writing now
Similarly, to eradicate bad habits, you must change it as soon as you say it. As long as this idea appears in your mind, you will immediately put it into action. Nothing can be changed just by thinking or not doing it.
There is a saying that once you have the determination to eliminate bad habits, you should take action immediately.It is worse than losing a chance because of determination and good emotions.This will hinder the intensity of future determination and normal venting of emotions.This makes sense. Some parents often point out their children’s mistakes when educating their children, and do not urge their children to correct them immediately. In fact, this gives children the opportunity to continue making mistakes.Not only children, but also adults, they should cherish their determination to correct their mistakes.
It is easy to say to treat anger as a mistake, but it is not easy to do, so many people make mistakes repeatedly.This requires people to maintain a pious attitude, always regard transforming anger as a big thing, and think carefully about related issues. Only in this way can they find some inspiration for themselves and make some changes.
It can be said that when you sincerely want to transform your anger, you will feel that your actions are becoming easier as if God helps you.
